whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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