he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
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No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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