I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
