You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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