I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
