Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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