i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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