Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
