but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
