saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
