ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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