I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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