Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
thus making me awesome and them whores
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
