do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
