I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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