I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
