Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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