She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need a beard to bite.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
