i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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