i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
