I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if only i could text you this smell
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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