Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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