Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
