Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
