hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
