so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
try to milk me bitch
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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