you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
