after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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