I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
too bad you live with your parents still
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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