i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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