Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
