Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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