i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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