I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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