scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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