I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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