I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
