You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
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I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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