Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
