Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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