I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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