If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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