dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
