I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
