Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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