im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
