I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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