A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
