I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
