I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
