So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
