I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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