I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
