just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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