maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
