the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
