is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
