everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
