what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
