note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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