We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
