I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
