id be glad to
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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