We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
